A Story of Forgiveness.

"Have you ever been irrationally angry?"

   I glance up from my lite pumpkin latte. "Yes." I blow some of the steam away.
   Allison bites her lip thoughtfully, and sips some of her passion-lemonade iced Tazo tea. When she says nothing else, I clear my throat. "You know, most normal people don't randomly ask questions like that."
   She chuckles. "I like a dramatic start to a conversation."
   "Kind of like the one we had a few months ago at the mall?" I tease.
   To my surprise, she sobers. "Yeah. Actually, it sort of has to do with that."
   "Oh?" I sit up straighter. "What's up, girl?"
   "Well--you were wrong."
   "I was wrong." I lift an eyebrow.
   "You were wrong. You said it would never go away. The pain. The anger. Remember you telling me that, at the spa? You said that 

it's possible to forgive, but the hurt doesn't go away." 

   She picks up the plastic cup and swirls the now-watery liquid around. "I told you that you were right. Remember?"
   "Yes, I remember. How was I wrong?" I'm really curious now.
   Allison takes a deep breath. "Well, I've put it behind me."
   I tilt my head. "Really?"
   "Yeah. For good."
   "Whoa. That's big stuff, Alli."
   She takes another deep breath. "Yeah."
   "When was that?" I have to ask. "We had that talk almost two months ago. And we've even talked about it since then."
   "I know. But--actually, I really don't know WHEN exactly it happened."
   She sets the cup down firmly. "There was this one place," she explains. "For some reason, every time I was at this intersection on my way home from school, I always thought of her--of the situation. And it hurt. Irrationally. That's why I asked that at the beginning."
   "Alli--" I start.
   "I know what you would say!" she bursts out. "I know it's normal to be mad at someone and to even have a hard time trying to forgive. But it was getting ridiculous. It was irrational because I had no real reason to be mad at her still. It's over. Past. LONG gone. It doesn't affect me any more."
   There's a pause. My latte is cold, but I sip it anyway.
   Allison looks me in the eye. "I drive through that intersection every week, usually multiple times. But the last few times, I haven't thought about it. 
  

It's just gone. 

I don't hate her anymore. 

It's crazy, Maddie! The feelings of animosity are just gone."
   "But how?" I practically explode. "How can you possibly get over it so COMPLETELY that you don't even think about it?"
   Alli smiles gently. "You just do," she answers simply. "I can't explain it really. You just forgive. And forget. Sure, convincing yourself that the person is lower than you or worse off than you helps you feel better about yourself for a little while, but that's just feeding the bitterness. Trust me--I know. You think it's working, but it's not. It's making it worse."
   I bite my lip. "But how?" I beg.
   Allison's smile broadens. "Put it behind you. Give it to Jesus.

He didn't design us to carry our burdens on our own anyway."

   I look at my friend again. She did seem different. Maybe forgiveness is worth a shot.
   "I don't know," I argue with myself aloud. "Is it worth it? It's easier to be angry! And--it's hard to change."
    "Tell me about it. But it is worth it." She reaches across the table and takes my hand. "Can you just try it, Maddie?"
   I give her a sideways glance. "Fine. I'll try. And Alli . . . thanks for proving me wrong."

~*~

While the above story is not a true happening, as in these actions did not occur exactly like this, it is based on a true experience. I just find it easiest to convey a message through a story rather than preaching at you "FORGIVE! LET IT GO!" although that is the message of Maddie and Allison.

Over the past year, I have heard something new. Contemporary Christian artists have been writing songs on forgiveness. Matthew West, Sanctus Real, and Tenth Avenue North are just a few examples. I have been listening to Contemporary Christian music since I was born, and I don't  recall ever hearing a song about forgiveness. But all of sudden, these several songs came into my life, and it felt like God was just spelling it out in front of me. Forgiveness is hard. H A R D. But like Allison said, it is worth it. You cannot grow closer to God if you have an unforgiving spirit. He wants to use you to fulfill His purposes and live out an incredible life for him, but not if you harbour bitterness in your heart.

Looking to far better things ahead,

Bee

~*~

Want to hear more?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Lu5udXEZI <-- Matthew West: "Forgiveness"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F9z54g30Eo <-- Sanctus Real: "Forgiven"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpe6Q-QVsoQ <-- Tenth Avenue North: "Losing"

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way affiliated with Matthew West, Sanctus Real, or Tenth Avenue North.